1. You grow poppies and refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher and ammo, but you can't afford shoes. You may be a Muslim

3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon and pork unclean.
You may be a Muslim

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You may be a Muslim

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim

10. Your cousin is president of the United States .
You may be a Muslim

11. You find this offensive or racist and won't forward it.
You probably are a Muslim